abóbora

myforgottenboobcrumbs:

Cute date idea:

Take me sex toy shopping and buy me whatever i want

@starlightsweetie kikikikiki

(via eclipscee)

menethiil:

all elves have fangs thanks for coming to my ted talk

(via tevruden)

theseerofdoomisunaltered:

surprise bitch bet you thought you’d seen the last of me

(via tevruden)

aboxfullofocs:

silverhawk:

can you imagine how freaky shark mermaids would be like unlike sharks, shark mermaids would have actual arms/hands and could rely on touching things with their hands to see if they’re prey rather than having to bite like sharks do. like youre just swimming in the ocean and suddenly you feel a strong grip on your leg, you freak the FUCK out because uh what????? the fuck??? youre swimming alone in the ocean??

a head pops out of the water, dorsal fin pointed from its back and it just points at you and says in a low whisper: “i thought you were a seal. please dont swim alone like this, im sorry i scared you i just wanted to see what you are” and then disappears back into the depth. what the fuck.

I accept this headcannon.

(via tevruden)

scarlette-skies:

fangirltothefullest:

what-even-is-thiss:

what-even-is-thiss:

what-even-is-thiss:

what-even-is-thiss:

Guys do centaurs have to eat both horse food and human food?

Centaur, eating out of a burlap sack of hay like it’s potato chips: So do you guys wanna get Chipotle later?

Centaur: *kneeling on the ground, ripping up bits of grass and eating it*

Nearby horse: *neighs*

Centaur: Well it’s easy for you to bend over, isn’t it?

Horse: *snorts*

Centaur: *through a mouthful of grass* Well goody goody for you, but some of us have two spines.

Human: Hey does somebody want the rest of my burger?

Centaur: Oh I’ll have it. I am starving.

Human: Didn’t you just eat like an entire barrel of hay?

Centaur: *snatches the burger* That was for the horse stomach not the human one. Don’t be racist, Carl.

DON’T BE RACIST CARL

@tevruden

(via tevruden)